Musings
The Akbar Gambit
The guy at the next table has a strong survival instinct.
Woman: Do you think Jennifer Lawrence is pretty?
Man: (long pause) Who?
Woman: Jennifer Lawrence. Do you thinks she’s pretty?
Man: I don’t know who that is.
Woman: You don’t know Jennifer Lawrence? …She’s an Oscar-winning actress.
Man: Don’t know her.
They take a few bites of food.
Woman: What about Kate Blanchett? Do you find her attractive?
Man: (pause) I don’t know who that is either.
Admiral Ackbar has taught him well.
Originally published March 2, 2016
A Chance Encounter
A Chance Encounter
– by Ken Bolding
As I was walking to my car just now, a guy asked where he could find the counselors and the enrollment office. I told him that they’re already closed, but they’ll be open again on Monday. He was disappointed, and asked which campus gates were still open; so he could get to the subway station. I told him the one at the staff lot where I was going would definitely be open. As we walked in the same direction, he just launched into his story.
He’s an ex-con and hasn’t finished his GED but wants to know if it’s possible to start taking classes because he’s eager to turn his life around. His kid’s mother came here and it seemed to help her; so he wanted to give it a try. He wondered whether being an ex-con would be a problem.
I told him that President Obama spoke here a few weeks ago, and when I was in line to get tickets, the guy in front of me in line told us his story. He was in prison. The Obama administration worked to change the sentencing guidelines to lessen the disparity between crack and powdered cocaine. Because of that change, he had been released from prison 15 years early. He came to this school, and joined the culinary program. He has since graduated and is working successfully as a sous chef, and is also planning to finish a 4-year degree.
So, yes, I said to the young man headed for the train. You can come out of prison and do really well here. Come back on Monday, and the councelors will let you know what you need to do.
He seemed determined as he headed for the train. It struck me how polite and how young he is. He seemed barely 20 and was already a father and an ex-con. I hope I run into him in two years, and he’s a barber.
It’s nice to know that with all the bureaucracy and frustration that surrounds this school, we still manage to change people’s lives, and make the world a slightly better place.
Why, Hulu? Why?
Why, Hulu? Why?
– by Ken Bolding
I was watching a show on Hulu while eating lunch. When it was done, Hulu served me an episode of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians.”
I clicked it off in less than a second, but now I’m afraid it will appear in my “Shows you watch” feed. I don’t think I could live with the stigma.
The Algorithm Knows What You Need*
The Algorithm Knows What You Need*
-by Ken Bolding
My electronic devices continue to do weird things. This time I was buying a movie ticket online, and the app put me in a seat between two strangers in a nearly empty movie theatre.
I wonder if the people on either side know one another. Probably not.
*”The Algorithm knows what you need” was a comment, made by David Ellis Dickerson, to the original Facebook Status Update.
Third Person (in first person)
Third Person (in first person)
– by Ken Bolding
I just saw the movie “Third Person.” As the crowd exited, an old woman asked her husband a question about it that he couldn’t answer. I volunteered an answer, which led to another question, and then another couple. And another question and another couple.
I ended up in the lobby, surrounded by senior citizens, as I fielded their questions and explained the plot to them. Good thing this didn’t happen after “Transformers.” I’d have had nothing.
Donald Sterling, Bigotry, and Consequences
Donald Sterling, Bigotry, and Consequences
– by Ken Bolding
I once dated a woman whose parents didn’t think it was appropriate for her to be dating me because I wasn’t deaf (she was). They said it to her at the their home in Vermont.
I was in a relationship with a woman whose mother didn’t approve of me because I am black. She told her so in a phone conversation.
When I was headed off to college, an aunt said to me, “and don’t you come back with no white girl because if you do, don’t come back.” She said it to me in my grandparents’ house.
I’m wondering how big a fine each should have had to pay, and whether each should have been forced from their jobs? Can I maybe take their houses from them? My point is that people sometimes say bigoted shit, and they have racist feelings, especially when they were raised in a generation before the civil rights movement. But just like the owner of the Clippers, they expressed their bigoted opinions in private. They didn’t go on TV. They didn’t stand on a soapbox or a stage. Unfortunately for Donald Sterling, he was being recorded when he said his bigoted bullshit. And a ton of shit rained down on him because of it.
But I still have to say I’m much more upset at the idea of causing someone to suffer consequences that severe for saying stupid shit that people say all the time inside the walls of his own house. I get it. It went public, and the NBA has money to make; so they have to distance themselves. My problem is that extreme reactions like this have a chilling effect on dissent in general. Of even uttering an idea that is contrary to what is accepted in the mainstream, even inside your own home. And I think that’s dangerous. Much more dangerous than Sterling’s ridiculous racist and misogynistic statements.
I had a debate with Mookie Spitz about this today. And for me it comes down to this:
I want people in the world who disagree with me. I want them to be able to say so, especially in a private conversation. Why? Because sometimes I am wrong. Sometimes I’m a little wrong, and sometimes I’m a lot wrong. And if everyone is afraid to tell me that they *think* I’m wrong, just because my opinion jibes with the current mainstream, we all lose.
I think some sort of sanction or fine or community service or whatever is appropriate here, but when we dole out punishments like banning a guy for life for some stupid shit he said in his own kitchen, I have a problem with it because that leaves no opportunity for redemption. Mel Gibson has been on the shit list for quite a while now for his racist, anti-Semitic, misogynistic, and homophobic rants. Movie crews were unwilling to work with him. His friend Jodie Foster cast him in a movie to help him get to forgiveness, we all said, “We like you, Jodie, but fuck that guy!” Robert Downey Jr. plead Mel’s case saying, “you have to forgive Mel and let him work.” We all said, “we love you, Ironman, but fuck that guy!” Now he has been cast in a small role in “The Expendables III.” I might, might have forgiven Mel enough to see that movie; even though he’s in it. If so, and other people do too, maybe he can find his way back into our good graces. Maybe. But he has that opportunity. And the things he said are MUCH worse than anything Sterling said. To remind you, some of Mel’s greatest hits were:
“Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world.”
“I will report her to the fucking people that take fucking money from the wetbacks.”
“You look like a fucking pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of niggers, it will be your fault.”
But Mel isn’t banned for life from anything. And in my opinion he shouldn’t be. Just because my attitude has been, “fuck that guy” for the past several years doesn’t mean that’s how I’ll always feel. I think the possibility of atoning for sins is a good thing.
One final point. If it seems as though I’m viewing this whole thing dispassionately, it’s because I am. None of these racist or bigoted comments have anything to do with me. The fact that some people think I’m beneath them because I’m black has absolutely nothing to do with me; so I have no investment in trying to force them into thinking differently. I don’t really care what they think. I only care what they can do. I care about access to opportunity. If you hate me because I’m black, but are not empowered to stop me from doing what I want to do, I have no reason to give you my attention. Just like in the personal examples I gave at the beginning of this post, I did whatever I wanted to do. I ignored the bigots and lived my life because fuck them.
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